MiddleEarth meets Sunnydale
by KidneyThief
Summary: The Fellowship is accidentally brought to Sunnydale, (That’s really lame, but it pretty much sums up the basic story.)
1. Chapter One

*After seeing the new Lord of the Rings movie I decided to try my hand at writing a crossover, there aren't any spoilers for the second movie or book*  
  
*By the way I don't own any of these characters, no infringement intended*  
  
"Dawnie, honey, you've got to wake up." Buffy said soothingly before beginning to shake her unresponsive sister.  
  
"What is it?" The girl opened her eyes wearily her brunette hair was tangled. "What's wrong?"  
  
"You're late for school, and I'm late for work." Buffy grabbed her sister by her shoulders and picked her up, placing her on the floor by her bed.  
  
Dawn was still wiping sleep out of her eyes when she found herself suddenly standing. "But. my alarm. why didn't it."  
  
"I don't know, get dressed, now!" With that Buffy ran out of the room. "Willow!" She ran down the stairs taking them two at a time.  
  
"Yeah?" Willow was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal.  
  
"Why didn't you wake us?"  
  
"I didn't know I was supposed to." Buffy glared at the redhead, "Alright, I'm sorry, I just woke up myself. Why didn't your alarm clock go off?" She asked, earning another glare from the slayer.  
  
"Dawn!" Buffy called up the stairs checking her watch anxiously. "Are you dressed?"  
  
Dawn ran down to her sister, brushing her hair and putting on her shoes at the same time. "Just about."  
  
"Good." Buffy grabbed the car keys off the counter and ushered Dawn out the door, "Bye Wills." The door slammed.  
  
"Bye," muttered Willow, never looking up from her breakfast.  
  
~~~ ".So, like I couldn't even like believe it. are you even listening? Hello? Ms. Summers?"  
  
At the sound of her name Buffy jerked out of her reverie. "Yes, Brittany, what happened then?"  
  
"Then he like totally dumped me in front on everyone! Can you like believe that?"  
  
"Um no lik- no I can't believe it. Brittany why are you really here?"  
  
The student blew a huge pink bubble with her gum before speaking. "Well, I have this like chemistry test next period so I was like thinking that you could like-"  
  
"Go back to class Brittany."  
  
"Like okay."  
  
Buffy watched the airhead blonde walk out of the office and sighed before taking a huge gulp of coffee. Checking her watch the slayer couldn't believe that it was only ten o'clock. She picked up her phone and hit the one on her speed dial.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi Willow, I was just calling to check in, how are you?"  
  
"I'm fine,"  
  
Buffy heard a loud crash in the background, "What was that?"  
  
"Oh, Anya came over to keep me company, since I don't have any classes today."  
  
"Okay, well, as long as you're okay, I'll see you when I get home."  
  
"Bye." Willow hung up the phone before turning to Anya, "What was that?"  
  
"Oh Willow good news, I found the secret chocolate supply that Xander keeps here!"  
  
"Oohh Goodie,"  
  
Over many candy bars the women lamented about their respective men and women problems. "I just don't know what Xander even wants from me you know? I don't think I'm ready to get back into a relationship with him again."  
  
"At least you have a Xander, I don't even know what I want anymore. After Tara. well, I didn't think I'd ever want someone new, but now, I don't know."  
  
"You should try to meet someone, I could set you up! It could be so much fun! Just like in a movie!"  
  
"I'll think on that."  
  
"Why don't you just do a spell?"  
  
"Anya, love spells are morally wrong, and they never turn out well. Just ask Xander."  
  
"I don't mean a love spell, just a spell to set you on your path, you know, find out where you should go from here. I could help you with it" At Willow's thoughtful look Anya began to plead, "Please, now that I'm human I have nothing to do, I'm bored."  
  
"Well actually, I have been working on something." Willow lowered her voice. "It's a spell to summon help."  
  
"Help, what do you mean help? A nasty, dirty sort of help?"  
  
Willow smacked Anya lightly on the arm, "No! The spell would create a being that could help us fight this new big bad, the 'from beneath you it devours' thing. Hypothetically, I've never done anything like this before. But I've got a lot of power now, so it should work."  
  
"Yes, totally, I love this idea, go now, and get the ingredients!" Anya watched eagerly as Willow gathered candles and other magikal tools.  
  
"Okay, this is relatively simple, we simply need to state for what purpose we require assistance and the spell should create the perfect fighter for us, and then once the task is done, it will disappear."  
  
"Let's do it."  
  
Willow formed a circle with the candles and scattered an assortment of bones, rune stones and chicken feet inside it. Then she removed a large jar of sand. "Now all we have to do is pour this sand into this bowl, while stating our purpose."  
  
"Uh, Willow, does this spell remind you of anything in particular. Like maybe the spell that we did to find my necklace? Senior year, is this ringing any bells with you?"  
  
Willow thought for a moment, "It does, but when you think about it the spells are very similar. They're almost identical, but for the fact the this one will create a being rather than just transport one here."  
  
"Here goes nothing."  
  
Willow lit the candles and began the chant "We require aide in the destruction of an ancient evil, send us a warrior who will slay our foe." With that Willow and Anya poured the sand into he bowl and a flash of white light blinded them temporarily, when the witch and former demon opened their eyes they were amazed by what they saw.  
  
~~~  
  
The Fellowship had not even fully departed from Lothlorien when the white light arrived; they were just pushing their canoes off shore when Legolas looked up at the sky. "Aragorn, do you feel that."  
  
"Feel what?" The ranger asked following the elf's line of sight but not seeing anything out of he ordinary.  
  
"It's like a humming." Frodo answered for him. The hobbit reached into his shirt and held the ring of power in his hand. "It's not coming from the ring."  
  
"It's nothin but yer imaginations." Gimli scoffed.  
  
Then the sky opened, white light poured out, and the world was torn apart.  
  
~~~~  
  
When Willow opened her eyes the first thing that she saw was a heap of brown. Blinking she realized that what she was looking at was a heap of people, all wearing earth tones, all speaking quite loudly. "Buffy's going to kill me," The witch whispered.  
  
Anya jumped up and down with glee, "Look Willow the spell worked, and instead of one warrior we got." She paused and counted the people who were beginning to stand and take in their surroundings. "Eight!"  
  
"What treachery is this?" Gimli roared holding his ax aloft.  
  
Boromir and Aragorn had their swords out in an instant, Legolas' bow was drawn even quicker, and the hobbits formed a small circle around Frodo, drawing their daggers. And eight intense sets of eyes all fell on the frantic Willow and the overjoyed Anya.  
  
"Ooo, they've got tons of sharp, pointy weapons, those will come in handy when they kill our big bad, right Willow?"  
  
"By what magik did you transport us to this place?" queried Legolas, his bow not wavering.  
  
"Umm. okay, listen, why don't you all just put down the weapons and then we can all talk like reasonable people." Willow said calmly, but she received only confused looks.  
  
"I think that you should explain yourself before we agree to such a truce." Aragorn replied, eyeing the women carefully.  
  
"Hey scruffy," Anya said rudely "You supposed to be out killing our demon, so get to it!"  
  
"This must be some sort of trick Sarumon is playing, trying to fool us into giving him the ring. They must be his spies, made to look like women in order to appear innocent." Said Boromir looking between Anya and Willow with mistrust.  
  
"No we're not spies, Willow here is witch, but I have never met anyone named Sour-man." She turned to Willow and said quietly, "I think that something just might have gone wrong."  
  
Willow wasn't paying attention to what Anya was whispering to her, she was too busy trying to determine where the odd buzzing sound was coming from. The sound got louder and louder until Willow realized that it wasn't a sound at all, but a feeling, it was dark magik. She searched the room for the source of the disturbance, and her eyes landed on Frodo.  
  
Frodo felt the intensity of the redhead's gaze before he saw how intently she was staring at him; he felt the ring begin to call out to her. He tried to get Aragorn's attention but he was conversing quietly with Legolas in Elfish.  
  
The ring's call hit Willow like a ton of bricks. She couldn't breath, she felt boxed in on all sides. She felt her eyes blacken and the dark magik flowed through her. "You." She said shakily, pointing at Frodo. "What are you doing to me?" Then her voice lowered, "It will consume you." Then the redhead fainted.  
  
After Willow's warning the living room erupted into chaos, Legolas was now shouting at Aragorn, Boromir was shouting at Anya, Gimli was just shouting. The hobbits were questioning Frodo who was simply staring at the fainted girl.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Anya screamed, pleasantly surprised when the men all obeyed. The former demon looked down at her fallen friend, then back at the group of men. "Do you guys want to come into the kitchen? I can explain everything over some hot chocolate while we wait for Willow to wake up."  
  
~~~  
  
An hour later Willow woke, only to find the living room empty. She had an awful headache, but was comforted by the fact that her eyes were back to normal. She walked into the kitchen, wondering if the entire afternoon had not been in fact just one long dream. The sight that greeted her there proved otherwise.  
  
Anya was seated at the kitchen table, engaged in a heated discussion with a short bearded man, a disturbingly beautiful blonde man with pointy ears was sitting cross-legged on he counter turning on and off the sink faucet. Four midgets, or little people or what the correct term for them these days were also seated at the table, they were devouring a bag of Doritos in record time. Two men who would have been the most normal of the group had they not been wearing clothing that looking right out of a King Arthur legend were standing in the corner conversing quietly.  
  
"Could somebody please tell me what the hell is going on here?" At Willow's words the group quieted.  
  
"Oh Willow, you're awake, and hey, you don't look quite as homicidal as you did when I saw you last." Anya stood, "Willow, May I introduce to the fellowship of the Ring, this-" She gestured to the man that she had been conversing with, "is Gimli, he's a dwarf" She pointed to the group of midgets, "They are Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin, they're hobbits. Those scruffy ones over there are Aragorn and Boromir. And Blondie's name is. Legos"  
  
"Legolas" he corrected.  
  
"Damn, don't worry I'll get it eventually. Legolas, he's an elf. Guys this is Willow."  
  
"Can you send us home?" Questioned Aragorn as soon as Anya had stopped speaking.  
  
"I don't know, I'm not even sure how I brought you here."  
  
"Anya has told us that you made a grievous error in a spell, thus accidentally bringing us forth from Middle-Earth. Now that you are awake you must simply undo the spell." Countered the ranger.  
  
"I'm not so sure that I even made a mistake, you see my spell was supposed to bring me a warrior that could help defeat a particularly evil demon that we are facing. The warrior was supposed to disappear once its task was fulfilled."  
  
"We don't have time to help you slay a demon, we are on an important quest, and we must return to it at once." Boromir advanced closer to the witch.  
  
"I can't." She said softly. "The spell cannot just be undone, its goal must first be reached."  
  
"It's goal being the killing of this demon that you speak of?" Aragorn asked.  
  
Willow nodded. "Hypothetically, yes."  
  
"Why should we trust you, witch?" Gimli demanded standing so forcefully that he knocked over his chair. "After all, you just threatened little Frodo, and your eyes turned black, and-"  
  
"Gimli!" Aragorn raised a hand to silence the bellowing dwarf. "I apologize for my companion's behavior, but he raises a good point, why should we trust you, we don't know you. Your land is strange, and your lack of magikal control hardly exudes trustworthiness.  
  
"That's all very true, but it goes for you too. How do we know that you all aren't evil? No offence or anything but he reeks of black magik." Willow said quietly pointing at Frodo.  
  
"As we have already explained to Anya here, we are transporting an evil ring of power to Mount Doom where it may be destroyed. Frodo is the ring bearer." Boromir said.  
  
"Oh"  
  
A tense silence fell over the house, only to be broken by the phone, at the ring all of the men immediately returned to fighting stance. At the second ring Legolas shot it, sparks flew out of the hole that the arrow had punctured in the receiver. "Buffy is so going to kill me." Willow whispered again.  
  
~~~  
  
Buffy was due home in an hour and Willow was still trying to explain the concept of a phone to the Fellowship. Merry and Pippin had been the first to understand. They had then proceeded to call random numbers, and introduce themselves to the people at the other end.  
  
"So you mean that there's no one inside of it?" Gimli had asked the same question at least as dozen times before.  
  
"No, you daft dwarf, there was no little person inside of it ten minutes ago, there still isn't. You are just talking to someone far away, like a magikal speaking mirror, only you can't see them." Legolas finally yelled at the Dwarf.  
  
"That's it I don't care if you do look like a girl I'm fightin ya!" Gimli threw down his ax and held his fists up.  
  
"In no way do I resemble a girl!" Legolas shouted back. "And I'm not going to fight you like some kind of barbarian!"  
  
"Oh yeah, well why don't you just go and brush yer hair instead."  
  
Legolas was just about to lunge at Gimli when Aragorn intercepted him. "What are you two doing? This is no time to be fighting with each other. We have to stay together, now more that ever."  
  
"He started it!" Gimli protested loudly.  
  
"Liar!"  
  
Willow sighed helplessly, watching as Aragorn tried to separate the two. Then the worst thing possible occurred, Buffy came walking in the door.  
  
~~~  
  
*Yes I realize that this concept has kind off been done to death but if you review I will throw in more humor in the next chapter.* 


	2. Chapter Two

*Thank you so much for all of the great reviews; you guys really know how to motivate me!  
  
*I did make a couple of mistakes in chapter one, most notably the fact that I said the Fellowship was departing from Rivendell, what I meant to say was of course Lothlorien, so yes Gandalf is out of the picture.  
  
*To comment on the ship questions, I don't know who will end up with whom, or if there even will be ships, feedback on what ships you guys think will work with this story will be greatly appreciated.  
  
~~~  
  
Frodo was sitting on the Summers' couch looking at the small blonde girl with amazement; he hadn't known that a human could yell so loudly for so long. He watched with wide eyes as the human continued to rant about how irresponsible the witch had been.  
  
"Doesn't she need to breath?" Pippin whispered into his ear. Merry had to stifle laughter at the other hobbits comment.  
  
".Didn't you even think of the consequences? What if you had summoned an evil warrior? What if it attacked you or Anya or Dawn? As it is you pulled a group of innocents out of their own dimension and brought them here."  
  
Boromir, Legolas and Gimli all scowled at the use of the word innocent. Aragorn tried to interrupt the shouting slayer, "Excuse me lady." But the blonde never even looked at him.  
  
Eventually the slayer decided that her friend had been properly chastised. Then she turned on Anya. "And how could you just let Willow do a powerful spell when you know just as much as I do that she's still healing."  
  
Anya cringed under Buffy's yelling, the slayer was right of course, it had been incredibly stupid to let Willow do the spell, hell she had even encouraged the witch to do it. But that didn't prevent her from feeling relived when Buffy finally ran out of air. "I'm sorry," she coursed along with Willow.  
  
"Can I come in now?" asked Dawn's voice from the kitchen, where Buffy had sent her while she yelled at the two women.  
  
"Yes." Buffy said in a clipped tone.  
  
Dawn tiptoed out of the kitchen "Um Buffy, I just thought that you might like to know that someone shot the phone with an arrow."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Legolas studied the floor as the blonde questioned Willow and Anya about the injured phone. He hoped that the witch would not tell her that it was he who had mortally wounded the phone. Although he was certain that he could defeat the small woman in combat he had no desire to be yelled at by her.  
  
"Sorry Buffy, but the phone startled them, there are no phones where they come from."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"We hail from Middle-Earth." Boromir stated proudly.  
  
"What's it in the middle of?" Dawn asked causing the man to stare quizzically at her.  
  
"From what they told me about it, Middle-Earth seems to be a dimension with much more magik than ours, and it's not technologically advanced, in fact it's about as primitive as the Camelot dimension." Anya stated.  
  
"There's a Camelot Dimension?" Willow asked  
  
"Of course."  
  
"That's so cool." Dawn marveled, "Is there a Pulp Fiction dimension?"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"What is this Camelot and Pulp Fiction that you speak of?" Aragorn asked, trying very hard to follow the conversation that was going on around him.  
  
"I'm sorry, but who are you people exactly?" Buffy looked from the Hobbits oversized, hairy feet to Legolas' pointy ears in confusion.  
  
Aragorn proceeded to introduce the fellowship and explain their purpose. "The ring is pure evil, it must be destroyed," he finished.  
  
"It really is evil!" Anya added, "You should have seen Willow when she first sensed it, she nearly killed us all, again!"  
  
Willow glared at Anya before turning to look at the slayer, the witch swore that she saw a vein pop out of Buffy's forehead, "What?"  
  
"Anya's just exaggerating," Willow assured Buffy. "It just caught me off guard, I'm fine now, totally in control."  
  
Aragorn could tell that the smaller women was about to start to yell again, "If I may interrupt, seeing as I have shared with you our story, I would like to inquire as to your own."  
  
"Oh, That's reasonable enough, I'm Buffy, the vampire slayer."  
  
"What's a vampire slayer?" Merry asked.  
  
"One who slays vampires." Pippin answered.  
  
"What's a vampire?"  
  
Pippin shrugged and turned to Buffy, "What's a vampire?"  
  
"It's a kind of demon, with sharp teeth, they suck your blood and leave your dried husk of a body to rot." Anya said helpfully. The hobbits shrank back into the couch.  
  
Buffy explained the specifics of vampire slaying to Aragorn, Gimli, Boromir and Legolas, the hobbits, not being very interested in the gory explanations, snuck out of the living room with Dawn.  
  
"So you mean this device plays the music that is somehow trapped inside this disc?" Merry asked, holding up a CD.  
  
"Kind of." said Dawn, "here I'll show you." The girl took the CD and popped it into the player. *NSync started to play quietly. Dawn was shocked at the reactions of the hobbits.  
  
Merry and Pippin were rolling around on the ground, holding their ears. Frodo had grabbed a pillow off the girl's bed and was trying to cover his ears with it. Sam had actually dived under the bed. Dawn quickly hit the stop button. "Geez what's wrong with you guys, they're not that bad."  
  
"What was that horrible sound?" Pippin asked, "I think that the disc is in some sort of mortal peril, why else would it scream so."  
  
At this point the rest of the Fellowship burst into the room. "I heard a terrible sound, is someone injured?" Legolas asked, drawing his bow.  
  
"No! No one is injured, it's just music, don't you guys have music where you come from?" Dawn huffed. "How did you hear it anyway? You guys were downstairs."  
  
"Elves' hearing is far superior to that of humans, or dwarves."  
  
Gimli opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by Boromir, "What kind of music? Torture music?"  
  
Dawn let out an indignant squeal and ran out of her room, almost running into Buffy. "What's up with her?" Buffy asked Willow as the redhead attempted to heard the group back downstairs.  
  
"Oh, the Fellowship didn't like her music."  
  
"Who does?"  
  
~~~  
  
After that the conversation went rather smoothly. It was decided that Willow would call Giles in the morning and inform him of the situation, meanwhile Anya would research a way to send the Fellowship back home and Buffy would search for the big bad that the men had been summoned to kill. But even with all this decided there were still very many problems to work out.  
  
Sam's stomach gave a loud groan right in the middle of the plot that Aragorn and Buffy were devising to try and locate the demon. "I'm hungry," He told Frodo, trying not to whine.  
  
"Me too Sam." Frodo looked around the room; no one else seemed to be thinking of food. Gimli was practically salivating over a large hammer that he had found in an inspection of a weapons trunk, however every time the strong dwarf tried to pick it up he could not lift it. Boromir was simply standing off to one side, half listening to the conversation between Buffy and Aragorn. Legolas was sitting on the far side off the couch, he had been sitting there pouting ever since the girl, Dawn, had asked him if he was a fairy.  
  
Frodo cleared his throat loudly. "I think it's just about time for dinner."  
  
Buffy looked at the clock, "You're right it is." We've got nothing to eat in the house though, we'll just have to go out."  
  
"I don't think that's such a great idea Buffy, We can't very well take them outside looking like that." Willow said gesturing to their outfits.  
  
"Well, we'll just have to drop by the mall and buy them each an outfit, they're going to need one eventually anyway."  
  
"I don't know Buffy. there are so many ways that could go wrong."  
  
"Don't be such a kill-joy Willow, what's the worst that could happen?" Anya asked.  
  
~~~  
  
Their first bump in what Willow had come to think of as 'operation dinner' had occurred about five seconds after Anya's innocent question. "No, Aragorn I am not jesting, you really do need to leave your sword here."  
  
"But what if we are attacked by Orcs on the journey to this Mall?"  
  
Willow looked toward Buffy desperately, "Hey, don't look at me for help, you're the one that brought them here." Buffy said before going upstairs to change.  
  
"Weapons aren't allowed in the mall or at any restaurant. But don't worry your sword will be very safe here."  
  
"Are you suggesting that I leave my bow behind, and go into your strange land unarmed?" Legolas asked looking at the redhead oddly, as if the thought of being without his bow had never occurred to him.  
  
"Good luck in taking that bow from him, he never lets the thing out of his sight, he even sleeps with it." Gimli added, he had been willing to leave his axe behind, claiming that dwarves were deadliest in hand to hand combat anyway.  
  
Legolas looked about ready to rip the dwarf limb from limb, Willow thought quickly of a way to diffuse the situation, but Aragorn beat her to it. "So Mall and Restaurant are sacred places where no harm may come to the patrons?"  
  
"Uh yeah, you could say that."  
  
"I shall not enter a sacred place armed," Conceded Legolas, "I will leave my bow with the guards."  
  
"Okay, or you could leave it in the car."  
  
"What is The Car?" Boromir asked.  
  
Willow sighed and launched into a lengthy explanation of what a car was. It quickly became apparent that they could not transport the entire Fellowship and themselves in just Buffy's jeep and Anya's new two-seater sports car, Xander arrived ten minutes after they called him.  
  
It was one thing to hear about a car, an entirely different thing to actually see one. "It's so shiny," Gimli said in awe, stroking Anya's red Miada reverently.  
  
"They don't look like horses to me." Legolas said in quiet Elvish to Arargorn.  
  
"No, they don't, but we must place our faith in these people, they are our only way of returning back to our home, and our quest."  
  
"The witch makes me nervous, she has almost as much power as Gandalf did, maybe more, yet she has no control. Every second she spends near the ring is one where she moves closer to it's evil."  
  
"So we keep Frodo away from her."  
  
"She is drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. It will be an almost impossible task to keep her away."  
  
"It is your task."  
  
Legolas looked up at him in confusion, "What?"  
  
"You keep her away from Frodo for the duration of this hopefully short visit, I will worry about Boromir."  
  
"You believe he is worth worrying over?"  
  
"I intend to find out."  
  
Legolas began to protest his appointed task when Xander interrupted. "Hey! You can't talk in some weird language. It's not fair! You could talking about me and I wouldn't know it!"  
  
Buffy whistled loudly to get the attention of the large group. "Okay people here's the plan. We go to the mall, Willow will be treating you all to new outfits since she brought you here. You change there, then it's on to the restaurant, here are the seating arrangements. Gimli, you're with Anya, Hobbits you're with Dawn and I in the jeep, Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn, you ride with Xander and Willow."  
  
"I must object Lady Buffy. I am sworn to protect Frodo, I must ride with him." Aragorn said.  
  
"Okay, in that case, Aragorn you ride with Frodo, Sam, Dawn and I. Merry and Pippin, you two will have to squeeze in with Legolas and Boromir."  
  
"Uh, I have a question Lady Buffy." Pippin said tentatively. The slayer made a face at being called lady, but nodded at the hobbit. "Where do we hold on?"  
  
"What?" Buffy asked before she realized what he meant. "Oh, no, we ride inside of the cars, see." She opened one of the doors to demonstrate. The entire Fellowship breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
~~~  
  
The instant Legolas entered the car he began to freak. He felt boxed in, He was sitting in between Merry and Boromir, Pippin was in front with Willow. He strained to see the sky out of one of the tiny windows but could see past neither the man who was staring awestruck out of the window nor the hobbit that was waving at the passing drivers.  
  
Gimli waved back at the hobbit as Anya shot past the car. Her sharp turns and excessive speed soon caused the dwarf to hold on for dear life.  
  
"Does Anya always drive like that?" Buffy asked as the former demon crossed three lanes and shifted into fifth gear on the 35 MPH road. "Dawn, you are never allowed to get into any car that Anya is driving, understand?"  
  
Not surprisingly Anya and Gimli were the first to arrive at the mall parking lot. The dwarf staggered out of the car, he was carsick but managing to hide it very well. "Where are the others?"  
  
"They'll get here soon. Buffy an Xander both drive like little old ladies." Anya joked. Although Gimli didn't truly understand the analogy he still laughed.  
  
Soon after that Xander arrived, the second the car stopped Legolas practically pushed Merry out of the way and leapt out of the car. "What's up with him?" Anya asked her former fiancé.  
  
"I think he got a little claustrophobic." Finally Buffy pulled up. "Well, now that the gang's all here, let's go shopping!"  
  
~~~  
  
After some cajoling they had convinced the convinced the Fellowship to leave there weapons in the car, Buffy had a suspicion that Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas were carrying concealed daggers, but the could hardly fault them seeing as she herself had two stakes and a small knife hidden on her at that moment.  
  
"Here's how it's gonna go." She told the group as they walked into the mall. "I want to be in and out of here as fast as possible. So I'll dress Legolas and Gimli, Xander you dress Aragorn and Boromir, Anya and Wills, you take the hobbits."  
  
Aragorn gave Legolas a meaningful look, the elf sighed before turning to Buffy, "I beg your forgiveness Lady Buffy but I would prefer to be dressed by Willow."  
  
"What? Why?" Legolas just shrugged innocently but Buffy didn't buy it for a minute, she looked back and forth between Aragorn and the elf suspiciously. They were hiding something, she just knew it. "Alright, Willow and Anya you dress Legolas and Gimli, I'll take the hobbits. We meet back here in a half an hour."  
  
Buffy dressed her charges quickly, despite the fact that their enormous feet made shoes quite difficult, but she had finally been able to stuff them into a 15 wide. The Hobbits could almost be mistaken as children, especially if they wore the hoods on their sweatshirts.  
  
Willow and Anya had taken quite a bit longer. They ended up splitting the job; Willow had taken Legolas while Anya took Gimli. Willow had a hard time dressing the elf, she herself had never been one for fashion, especially not men's fashion, but she had finally gotten him a pair of baggy jeans, a black shirt and a beanie to finish off the look and to cover up his ears, the elf had hated the hat but Willow convinced to wear it just for the time being, promising that he didn't have to wear it in the car or at the house.  
  
Anya had been tempted to dress Gimli in a lime green suit, but decided that was too conspicuous, she settled for Khakis and a polo shirt instead. She then bought a new purse for herself and an outfit to go with it. By the time she and Gimli returned to the doors Willow and Buffy were both done, but Xander was nowhere to be seen.  
  
The girls had passed the time by teaching the hobbits how to play rock, paper, scissors. Merry and Pippin had been endlessly fascinated by it, but they both thought that scissors was the most fun to make so they played scissors, scissors, scissors. Eventually Legolas was pulled into a tournament game with Sam and Frodo, to whom he lost miserably, much to Gimli's amusement.  
  
"Even hobbits are cleverer than elves." He said with a chuckle, witch ended abruptly when Anya elbowed him. However even Anya's scolding couldn't keep the dwarf from laughing when Xander, Aragorn and Boromir finally did show up.  
  
Xander had panicked, he didn't know how to pick out clothes for others, so he had just bought two outfits that he owned himself. The end result made up for what it lacked in style in color.  
  
"You look like jesters!" Gimli exclaimed when he saw the two warriors who were wearing baggy Hawaiian shirts and jeans.  
  
Boromir looked down at his shirt, then back at the dwarf, "I like it, it's very colorful."  
  
~~~  
  
"Where are we going to take them to eat?" Dawn asked her sister as they got back into the car.  
  
"I don't know, probably the buffet place around the corner."  
  
"What's a buffet?" Sam asked.  
  
A buffet is in fact hobbit heaven, as Sam and the others soon found out as soon as Dawn got finished explaining that yes, they really could fill up their plates as many times as they wanted. Luckily for them the restaurant was nearly empty, but the few others that were eating there were very put off by the Fellowship's lack of anything even remotely resembling table manners, particularly from Gimli, who had been very disappointed to learn that the restaurant did not serve ale.  
  
"Why do you not serve ale?" The bearded dwarf demanded of the waiter.  
  
"We don't have a liquor license." The young man had replied as he whisked away another eight plates away from the hobbit's area of the table.  
  
"This is preposterous! I demand ale!"  
  
Anya had managed to calm the angry dwarf while Buffy shrugged at the waiter and simply said, "He's from Scotland." The man had nodded and walked off.  
  
The hobbits had each eaten nine plates of food, and would have gone back for more if Dawn hadn't stopped them. Boromir and Aragron had also enjoyed diner, but Buffy had to stop them from trying to smuggle extra food out of the restaurant.  
  
"But what if we run out of food, it is wise to carry provisions." Boromir had argued while trying to shove an entire muffin into one of his jean pockets.  
  
"I promise, we won't run out. Besides, it's against the rules for us to take food with us."  
  
"Alright." He sighed before stuffing the muffin into his mouth.  
  
Only Legolas had been rather unimpressed with the food and had stuck mostly to the salad bar. The diner conversation had quickly turned to Middle-Earth, with each race insisting that their home was in fact the most beautiful.  
  
"The Shire is the beautiful place in all of Middle-Earth." Sam insisted, "It's so peaceful there, and nothing bad ever happens, people are free to grow their crops and live happily."  
  
"You only say that because you have never seen the white towers of Gondor." Boromir had countered. "There are great halls and libraries that nearly touch the sky."  
  
"You are both wrong," Gimli said, "you never saw the mines of Moria in their full glory. There were chambers whose walls were coated in gold and rubies paved the floor." Anya began to salivate at just the idea of such a place.  
  
"Surely after seeing the great forests of Lothlorien none of you may argue that there is a more beautiful place than that." Legolas had said confidently. The Fellowship began to argue amongst itself, all but Frodo and Aragorn participating.  
  
"What about you?" Willow had asked Aragorn. "What's your homeland like?"  
  
"I have none." He said briskly, watching the others squabble.  
  
"Are they always like this?" Willow asked him, gesturing at the others.  
  
"No, they are tired and still grieving, they are usually a bit more civil."  
  
"Grieving?"  
  
"There was a ninth member of our Fellowship, a great wizard, Gandalf, our leader, he was killed by a demon."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"It's not your fault Lady Willow, I think we should depart before they come to blows."  
  
~~~  
  
*I would like to sincerely apologize to any *Nsync (Is that even how you spell it?) fans that might have been offended by that part in the story.  
  
*I hoped you liked it, but if you didn't keep in mind that this was just a filler piece. Next update will be much more interesting, I promise. 


	3. Chapter Three

*Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed  
  
*I'm sorry for how long this took to post, but my EVIL HP crashed and deleted a lot of it. I'm seriously thinking about throwing my computer out of a window and just buying a Mac.  
  
*I have decided on the ships. But I wouldn't want to spoil the story for you, so you'll just have to wait and see. ;)  
  
~~~  
  
"I think we really need to invest in a guest room." Buffy said with a sigh as she surveyed the small living room.  
  
"Where are they all going to sleep?" Anya asked gesturing toward the bathroom, where the Fellowship was learning about the miracles of modern plumbing.  
  
"I don't know, the floor I guess. I'll have to get all the blankets and sleeping bags out of the basement." The slayer flopped down onto the couch. "Just when things are starting to get back to normal, something like this happens. Aren't we ever going to have a typical, average, non-demony week?"  
  
Anya sat down next to her and gave the blonde an awkward, but reassuring pat on the back. "I don't think average weeks come in the slayer package," When that didn't cheer her up she added, "Come on Buffy, you've defeated Hell gods, giant snakes and vampires by the dozens. Putting up with Robin Hood and his Merry Men for a little while is going to be a piece of cake compared to that."  
  
"Do you even know the meaning of the word jinx?"  
  
Anya scowled at the slayer before standing and grabbing her purse off the table. "Well I'm off, I have to get some papers ready at home, I'm getting an estimate on the repair of the magik shop tomorrow."  
  
"Why don't you just have Xander-"  
  
Anya raised a hand to silence her. "No, I'm doing this on my own, I want to be independent." She smiled good-naturedly at Buffy; "The meeting's not till 10:00. I'll drop by in the morning and make sure that the house didn't burn down."  
  
"Drive safe." Buffy said though she doubted that Anya would take her advice. The two women hugged and the former demon departed.  
  
~~~  
  
"You turn the knob this way to make the water hotter, this way to make it colder." Willow turned the shower knob to demonstrate.  
  
Legolas stuck his hand into the spray. "This is truly an amazing device.  
  
"If you feel that way you can have the first shower, there's the soap, shampoo and conditioner."  
  
"What's shampoo and conditioner?" Pippin asked.  
  
"They clean your hair. First you put in shampoo, then conditioner, not too much though." She squirted a bit of the shampoo into her hand. "See? Then you rub it into your hair, then wash it out."  
  
"How does it clean your hair?" Legolas asked as Willow washed the shampoo from her hand.  
  
"It just does."  
  
"Is it magik?" Pippin asked, ever since learning that Willow was a witch he had constantly been asking if things were magikal.  
  
"No, it's just chemistry."  
  
"What's chem-"  
  
"Never mind! Here," she dumped a towel and sweat suit, provided by Xander into Legolas' arms before ushering the rest of the fellowship out of the bathroom. Leaving the confused elf to fend for himself.  
  
~~~  
  
"I can't take much more of this Buffy." Willow paced back and forth in the kitchen, wringing her hands, "It's like spending time with my four- year-old cousin! At first the whole curiosity thing was cute, but now? They're always asking why and how."  
  
"Well at least you're not the one that has to explain the concept of television to them. Poor Dawnie." The slayer grabbed the redhead's shoulders to stop her pacing. "Calm down Wills, something Anya said made me think. This isn't that bad, We find demon, kill demon, and then send them home. It's easy, might even be fun."  
  
"Tell Aragorn that, his mother obviously never told him that if you scowl long enough your face will stay that way."  
  
However Aragorn was not scowling at that moment, he was gazing in wonder at the small box. The box itself was rather unremarkable. It was the people inside the box that held his attention, there were three of them, they looked human, though he knew they could not be for they were no bigger than his hand. They were siting on a large orange chair inside the box, they looked happy enough. "Are these your pets?"  
  
Dawn looked at him oddly, "No. This is a television, this isn't real." She said tapping on the screen. "It's just a moving picture." She changed the channel, and the news appeared onscreen. "This program tells you what went on in the world today." The Fellowship watched in awe as the anchor spoke of the weather.  
  
"How do they know that it will be sunny tomorrow?" Boromir asked, reaching out and tentatively touching the screen.  
  
"Is it magik?" Pippin asked.  
  
"No, they use air pressure and radar and stuff."  
  
"What's-"  
  
Dawn was saved from Pippin's question by Legolas who walked in the room, wearing Xander's old baggy sweat pants and the black shirt. His hair was no longer pulled back, and hung damply around his face. "Companions, you must try this shower. It is a wonderful experience!"  
  
Willow and Buffy walked into the living room. "Oh, you're done." Willow said to the elf. "Aragorn, you're next."  
  
"Why me?"  
  
Willow looked at his greasy hair. "No particular reason." Then she ushered him into the bathroom.  
  
"So you guys any good with those?" Buffy asked, gesturing to the pile of weapons lying against the wall.  
  
~~~  
  
When Willow walked back into the living room she found it deserted, except for Dawn who was sitting on the couch reading. "Where did everybody go?"  
  
"They went down into the basement to train."  
  
"Okay," The witch walked to the basement door and began to descend the stairs. She was surprised at what she found. Buffy and Boromir were slowly blocking and paring with swords, while the hobbits watched on. Gimli was still trying to heft Olaf's hammer. Legolas was watching them all with a smug look on his face; the look was slightly humbled by the fact that he was re-braiding his long blonde hair.  
  
"You fight well, for a woman." Boromir said after Buffy easily blocked his complex move.  
  
"Think you could take me?" Buffy said, her nostrils flaring angrily at his backward compliment.  
  
"I could not fight honestly against a woman."  
  
"Why not? You scared?" Buffy advanced on him, twirling her sword.  
  
"Scared?" He scoffed, "I have been a swordsman since I could walk." Buffy gave him a grin before attacking him with a flurry of thrusts. Boromir blocked them; they began to fight in earnest.  
  
Despite the fast-paced sword fight going on Willow felt her eyes drawn toward the group of hobbits, she felt her feet climb down the remainder of the stairs and over to the four, or more precisely to Frodo, who she found herself unable to look away from. She knew that it was not him she was drawn to but the ring.  
  
Legolas watched the two spar, while marveling at the softness of his hair. His hair was of course naturally soft, as was typical of elves. But the remarkable cream that Willow had given him had made it even softer, and shinier. He looked up from his braiding and saw that Willow was walking toward Frodo with a glazed look in her eyes. He sighed heavily before standing.  
  
Willow was knocked out of her stupor by Legolas when she found him suddenly standing in front of her. She was quite suddenly released from the ring's hold, and she shook her head to clear it. "Oh, Legolas, hi, what's up?" the elf gave her a puzzled look and looked up at the ceiling, "No, I wasn't asking you. It means how are you?"  
  
"I am well," Awkward silence fell and both the witch and the elf stared at the floor. "Your friend is a strong warrior." He finally said nodding at Buffy, who was still locked in combat with Boromir.  
  
"Yeah, it comes with the slayer gig, super speed, super strength, you know, the works."  
  
He nodded as if he understood 'the works.' He watched the girl shift awkwardly, silently cursing Aragorn for charging him with this task. Then he said the first thing that popped into his head. "Do you want to braid my hair?"  
  
"What?"  
  
~~~  
  
Thirty minutes later found Willow and Legolas sitting on one of the gym mats, speaking lightly about hair-care products. Boromir was now attempting to teach Merry and Pippin swordplay while Frodo and Sam laughed at their fumbling comrades. Gimli was watching Buffy in awe as she swung the trolls hammer effortlessly. Aragorn was sitting on the basement steps, talking to Xander.  
  
"So your hair isn't really that color?"  
  
"Not naturally I dyed it."  
  
"Like one would dye a piece of cloth?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know, I wanted a change I guess."  
  
Legolas reached out and touched her hair lightly; "I like it."  
  
"How strong are you?" Gimli asked.  
  
Buffy turned to the dwarf, "I don't know, as strong as ten maybe a dozen men."  
  
Gimli gave her a disbelieving look, but it was Legolas that spoke, "Which means the strength of at least 100 dwarves."  
  
"At least the dwarves fight, they don't run away to Valinor at the first sign of danger!"  
  
Legolas stood, "I cannot abide this!" needless to say he was startled when Willow grabbed one of his hands and pulled him back down, he landed on the mat with an ungraceful oomph. The dwarf started to chuckle, but stopped abruptly when Buffy handed him the hammer, and, unable to handle the weight, he dropped it on his foot.  
  
"Maybe if you didn't provoke him." Willow said to the elf, sounding like a scolding parent.  
  
The slayer sat down on the stairs with Xander and Aragorn, "Hey guys. What's up?"  
  
"Aragorn here was just about to tell a story."  
  
"OOO I like stories, does it have a happy ending?"  
  
"The ending has not yet been determined, and it is not a story, but a history." He drew a sword out from behind his back. And placed it on his lap.  
  
Buffy reached out and touched the scabbard lightly, she couldn't help herself, it was the most beautiful weapon she had ever seen. The scabbard was studded with precious jewels, and runic symbols ran down its sides. "Wow." she breathed.  
  
"This is Anduril."  
  
The moment Aragorn had brought out his sword Legolas had seen Willow start, she tilted her head, as if listening to something far away. Legolas stood and offered her his hand, he helped her up then drew her over to the stair. "It's elven magik" He whispered to her as her hand floated over the decadent scabbard.  
  
"What is it Wills?" Buffy asked, her friend was looking more than a bit spaced out.  
  
"Protective charms, lots of them, they're coating this blade." She met Aragorn's eyes "It must be very important."  
  
"It is." He drew it slowly and began to speak in a hypnotic voice, "It was long ago, so long in fact that only the immortal memories of the elves can recount it." When Boromir and the hobbits heard the story he was telling they gathered around him. Even Gimli, who was still moaning in pain, hobbled over. They all sat, entranced as the heir of Isildur told his tale. He spoke not only of the war, but also of Bilbo's adventure, and their own, greatly expanding on the brief outline he had told them earlier. He spoke of Gandalf's demise and their short respite at Rivendell. They all listened, rapt, even though the fellowship had heard the tale many times, and had even lived part of it.  
  
When he drew to a close they all sat in stunned silence, Dawn's startled shout broke it and Buffy was up the stairs in a flash, the others close behind her. 


End file.
